VERY DEMURE

Part 1

I looked at her one more time. She was a lady who wouldn’t bang her head against the wall obsessing over someone else's opinion - be it a man or anyone else in her life. She understood that if someone did not approve of her, it was just one person's opinion; therefore, it was of no real importance. She did not try to live up to anyone else's standards - only her own. Because of this, she related to me very differently. Being an independent thinker at all times and ignoring anyone who attempted to define her in a limiting way, she was such a turn on.

She always considered it the big picture, her happiness. And health. She would never care what a man thought of her -- until he demonstrated to her that he cared about making her happy. If he wasn’t trying to make her happy, then she would send him back from "whence" he came because winning him over would have no benefit. At the end of the day, happiness, joy...and yes...her emotional stability...those comprised the only measuring stick she really needed to have.

To her, whoever ended up with her had to feel that she chose to be with him, not that she needed to be with him. She wouldn’t kill herself to impress anyone. That she expected to be respected, not because she was intelligent, held a higher degree than him or that she could offer him a mental stimulation during dinner (since mental challenge had little to do with conversations anyway), but because of how she related with him and wasn’t afraid of being without him.

She understood that the more independent she was, the more attracted to her he would be. She would start by cooking him a one-course meal (not literally), as simple as a bowl of noodles and then six months later, she would throw together a meal and put a plate in front of him and what would he have to say to himself? Man, I’m special! He would feel like a king. And the only difference would be the amount of time and effort she had invested; he had to appreciate it more because he hadn’t gotten it right up front.

Whenever I looked at her, I would wonder how many people lacked the basic equipment to be in a relationship and there's nothing you could do to change it. One couldn’t take a skunk and dip it in perfume and hope it became a puppy. Eventually, the perfume would wear off and you would still have a skunk on your hands. But her? Dignity was her most attractive quality. In her attitude, I could see the success of our to be love and in return, she had chosen to trust me until I gave her a reason not to.

I would call her, and she would get back to me when she was free. She would see me when it was convenient for her. I had the notion that most women starved to receive something from a man that they needed to give to themselves, but I couldn’t think of any when it came to her.

I wondered whether like any girl with strict parents, she had lived a pretty sheltered life growing up. Her dad might have been pretty laid back, but her mom? School, sports, church, and no boys must have been her motto. Maybe she was just a good child stuck to mom’s plan not realizing she might hold on for a little longer than it should have been.