On to today’s controversial theory, Yes, a guy can be in love with two women at the same time. In fact, one can be in love with many people at the same time. And this is also true for women.
Although, the difference between the case in point and the idealized version which says “a man can only love one woman at a time. If he fell in love with a second woman, it nullifies his love for the first woman” - is simply a matter of choice.
Humans tend to romanticize everything around us. - thanks to our special ability to “feel”. Humans also have another ability called “rationality”. Realizing the fact that these two abilities exist as two separate domains, and that the first one precedes the second one, is a first step towards taking matured decisions as grown-ups.
We can feel just about anything - love, sexual attraction, brotherhood, familial attraction etc for anyone. That reflects our ability to feel. But the choice we make to act upon those feelings stems from our rationality and the need to conform to the societal norms.
A man can be romantically in love with two women at the same time, and it is perfectly valid to feel so. However, the choice he makes to be monogamous with one of the women reflects his rationality, and also to some extent the cultural practices prevailing at the time. You can crucify me all you want.
Sometimes, what we call love or romantic feelings in this case are not really towards the particular persons, but it’s the traits they posses that attracts us. She is beautiful, or like others would say, physically appealing. But the other one is kind, gentle and has funny jokes hence a vibe to be around.
So, the choice to move on with one of these two women, or engage in polygamy, or find whatever works best for you would involve the decision of the three people involved. Let’s not say three, but rather one, you-the protagonist. But honestly, I wouldn’t vouch for polygamy. Like my friend used to say, find what you love and let it kill you.
All I can help you with is validating your feelings. With today’s social pressure, we tend to discard some of our feelings when they are not in-line with the cultural norms - even though we know deep inside that those feelings are very much real and true and exist.
There really is no reason to discard your feelings just because of some rules someone created. A much more matured approach would be to embrace your feelings because you know they are real and true. You cannot, in theory, feel something that does not exist. If you feel something, it implies that something made you feel that. And you cannot nullify the existence of something that already exists.
However, by validating your feelings doesn’t mean I’m encouraging you to act on both. If it were upon me, I would say: choose who makes you feel home. I don’t know what it is in someone that makes you feel so, but choose that. We all know what the Bible tells us, that a man is to one wife.
However, remember that too many relationships and marriages are working because they have parties to go to, weddings to attend, vacations to splurge on, other couples to compete with and people to impress. But when the time comes and these couples have to sit in front of each other in a world that's ending and rebirthing as something entirely different, sometimes they realize that when all those factors are taken away, the person in front of them is someone they don't even like.
Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "Invisible threads are the strongest ties" and couples today are comprehending, that they don't have those threads. They only had the visible ones. Whatever you do with this information is up to you.
Finally, we might say that the fact that we are looking for love makes it impossible, because we will project our feelings onto people and misinterpret their signals. When we’re dying of thirst in a desert of loneliness, faux love is a cruel mirage. Adios.